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It’s Four O’clock Somewhere

May 25, 2018 by Chris

By now we’ve all heard that we should be taking 10,000 steps a day for a happier, healthier life. Devices like the Fitbit make it easy to record your strides through out the day. At the end, if you’ve managed the requisite 10,000 steps, you’ll have logged about 5 miles. Not four miles or six but — five.

While researching this post, the number 5 kept popping up. I couldn’t get away from it. I dare say it might be the most important number ever.

Since I’m out on the “that’s a bold statement limb,” I might as well go a bit further and say, I don’t think you need to take 10,000 steps to live a happier life. I think you need to take five. Five steps.

What in the hell am I talking about? Right… let me explain.

My wife and I just returned from a long weekend away. We drove to a very small and undiscovered beach on Mexico’s Pacific coast. From the outside, it looks as if we live a carefree existence. But we too tend to get bogged down by the daily B.S. that seems to circumnavigate the globe, hustling to make ends meet, to be productive, and to stave off the worries of the future. While we are away in every sense of the word, every now and then, it pays to get farther away.

From a weather-worn Adirondack chair perched a couple meters above the toasty sand, I watched the sun sink behind the cliffs. When it disappeared, I watched the people around me and I noticed few, if any of them, were staring at the palm of their hand. At a device.

Except for the annoying, selfie obsessed couple from who-the-fuck-cares, most were strolling along, lost in thought. Some played with their dogs, while others just sat on the sand, watching the same sun I was watching; staring out at the surf break.

As the condensation from my perfectly-chilled Victoria dripped down my shin, I realized just how much life we miss every day in our distracted lives. I’ve known it for years. We all have. Technology served up the false promise that with it, things would be easier. And we swallowed it — hook, line, and sinker.

Phones with the computing power of spaceships hypnotize us. Our refrigerators will order groceries when it detects we’re running low. God help us if they ever perfect the self-driving car. How far removed from life do we need to be if we can’t stop long enough to drive ourselves.

I’m sorry… I’m out.

It’s become glaringly obvious to me that people love their distractions. They love distractions almost as much as they love their excuses. Having an excuse gives you an out. It gives you a reason to remain just as you are. You don’t have to lift a finger to change because — [insert excuse].

Hell, if you do it correctly, being distracted keeps you from ever having to make the excuse. It’s a perpetual cycle that prevents many of us from noticing the ticking of the clock. I know this, because I made excuses for years. Fed myself Bullshit Flakes for breakfast and created a forcefield fed by the power supply, “I’ll be happy when…”

When we left to go sailing in 2012, I made a promise to myself that I’d stop. I shut down the forcefield and it worked for a while but — like everyone else, I got distracted. I’m now redoubling my efforts to focus on what is and not on what is… ahead.

Just for fun, I googled “How to be happy.” 204,000,000 results. Damn! That’s a lot. I clicked the top result: wikiHow: 3 Ways to Be Happy. There weren’t 3. There were 22 different steps. See the irony?

My friends, there’s no riddle to life. If there was, there would most likely be 3 or… 22 different answers. We hear all the time about the secret to happiness. I’m here to tell you, it’s not a secret. And there aren’t 3, or 22 or 10,000 steps.

From that Adirondack chair I deciphered the Code of the Perpetual Wanderer. Wanna take a guess at how many steps to happiness there are in my code? Exactly — 5. Just five simple steps on the Path of the Perpetual Wanderer (It’s a very short path).

  • Simplify. Everything
  • Move more — eat less
  • Get more sleep
  • Get off your fucking phone
  • Walk barefoot

The universe has been trying to tell us about 5’s importance all along. We’ve simply been too distracted to notice. How many fingers do we have? 5. Toes? 5. Senses? 5. How many Jackson’s were there? 5. We don’t call it a four o’clock shadow, and everybody knows about the five goldennnn rinnnnggggs!

There are 5 days to a work-week, 5 Great Lakes, 5 vowels (a, e, i, o, u), 5 food groups, and 5 boroughs in Manhattan.

Chanel No. 6 would have been a bit over the top, and Jack Nicholson would never have wasted his time on a movie called Two Easy Pieces.

There are the 5 Epochs of Civilization, 5 Pillars of Islam, and 5 Precepts of Buddhism.

I’m not done yet.

Five elements in Western alchemy (earth, air, fire, water, spirit) and 5 in Chinese philosophy (wood, water, fire, earth, metal). There are five stages of grief, five guys named Moe, and when cut horizontally, an apple has five seeds in the shape of a five-pointed star. Go ahead, look it up.

I assure you, deciphering the Code of the Perpetual Wanderer was not an easy task. Countless cervezas gave their lives in the name of discovery. The above 5 tenets have been time-tested and painstakingly pondered over the last decade at least.

Please — be careful with the aforementioned information as it may lead to sudden job-quitting, debtlessness, and a heightened sense of I don’t give a fuck-itis.

Don’t believe me? Care to remain as you are? No problem. Keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll keep enjoying that secluded beach and chilly Victorias.

After all, it’s 4 o’clock somewhere.

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Filed Under: Musings, Travel, Vacilando - a Cal 35

Comments

  1. greg boudreaux says

    May 25, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    Excellent Chris, please tell Melody hello.
    Both of your posts, (Melody’s and Yours), pictures, and all adventures, have and will always give me the passion to live life, cut the ropes, smile and enjoy the journey. life is way too short.. Tell Melody, I caved in on Jan 20th and had a darn stroke, lets call it a wake up call.. landed up being a major stroke,, but within a week I was very close to back to normal, typing and living life as normal. “With the exception of cutting the ropes on a lot of excess baggage”. Life is better than ever and so much lighter, just have to remind myself often.. WTF, none of what I used to be concerned with really has any true meaning or use at all. Thank you as always for sharing your adventures, they are oh so appreciated ! The Boudreaux’s

    • Chris says

      May 25, 2018 at 5:05 pm

      Hello Greg~ So sorry to hear of your health concerns, but very happy to hear you seem to be back to your old self. Indeed a major incident like that will shake you to your core and quickly remind you of what’s important. Thanks so much for following along and for taking the time to reach out and let us know how you’re doing. We love to hear from our friends. Be good and please take care of yourself. You too are appreciated! All the best,
      c

  2. Wanda says

    May 25, 2018 at 5:34 pm

    Wow!! Always great to hear real words of wisdom! We all know them, but there is always a butt…….. we need to “just do it”!
    Xoxo

  3. Ingrid says

    May 25, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    You are hilariously correct my friend

  4. Eric Ludin says

    May 25, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    5 reasons why we miss you guys!! GREAT blog. Love it.

  5. Patty Grissom says

    May 26, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    Here’s a Hi 5 to you guys!

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ABOUT US

CHRIS: Singer/Songwriter and author from Philly, (and also the author of this blog), transplanted to Nashville, took a break from the music biz and somehow convinced his girlfriend (now wife) to live on a boat and began writing books. You can check out his music on iTunes or his books on Amazon.

MELODY: Thought her husband was crazy for wanting to live on a boat, but never one to shy away from an adventure, decided to play along and fell in love with cruising. She blogs about how to make money while cruising at Saving to Sail and helps solopreneurs build 6-figure digital product businesses at Soloprenista.

JET: Dutch Shepherd rescue who traveled more miles in his 14 years than most people do in a lifetime. Refuses to vacuum his own hair and instead insists on shrimp tails and belly rubs. (Update: Jet crossed the Rainbow Bridge on Sunday, May 23, 2021 but will always be our favorite crew member and is dearly missed.)

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