The Internet is a fascinating thing yes? I mean how spoiled are we that now we no longer have to go to the library and look through that small “filing” cabinet of index cards to find a book! Yes a book. Encyclopedia’s are a thing of the past. The mighty Internet has liberated us from all that toil and trouble. We now only need to “Google” something to find one-hundred and seventeen thousand, three-hundred and twenty-one websites containing the words “blah, blah and blah Kardashian”. And, as a sailboater with very little storage for said Encyclopedias, we treasure our internet service as our life-line to everything from weather to the best local pub or market. When I first began sailing and refitting my first sailboat, a San Juan 24 “Whore Of The Sea” (not my name btw) I searched the internet high and low for hard to find info on these great little boats. It was then, I discovered the FORUMS. When I did my Tartan 27, I found the Yahoo owners forum. They were oh so awesome.
If you own a boat, you know about the forums. They are great. Sometimes. The Cruisers Forum. Sailnet. Sailboatowners.com. Small boat. Wooden Boat. The list is endless. When you toss in all the individual boat forums it becomes staggering. There are forums for almost every boat made. Cal, Tartan, Sparkman and Stephens, Catalina… oi-vey! You could virtually spend weeks on these forums researching and reading about the different posts people make regarding refits they are doing or parts they are searching for. They are invaluable to someone who owns an out-of-production boat. Anytime I’ve ever addressed an issue I had little knowledge of, I’d go to Sailnet or one of the forums and search for anyone who’s ever done or asked about the job I was about to tackle. Incredible. Diesel engine problem? Go to the forum. Sail repair? Forum. Rigging? Forum… you get the gist.
Now… The bad. Yes, there is always another side to the coin isn’t there? A word to the wise when posting to a forum. As a newbie, learn the rules! For if you don’t, you should suffer the wrath of the old-timer (most likely retired with way too much time on his hands and cranky) who sits, lying in wait for the unsuspecting sucker who posts something that has already been addressed. Oh dear Lord! We can’t discuss that again! Ask a question about varnish and by the tenth post, your thread will have nothing to do with varnish. It will be hijacked and there may be posts about Obama and Bush. Oh the first and second post will contain the Bible’s volume of information about what product to use, what temperature to varnish in, what the humidity level should be and all kinds of tid-bits about the brush you should use. You know the one, it’s made from the hair of Mongolian mountain goats. But only from the hocks of their left hoof! It will cost $1700.00! And then someone will post that Mongolian Mountain goats don’t HAVE hoof’s… And then, by the end It will say something like, “That boat will never go around Cape Horn!” Ask a question as to “…which boat would be best for blue water…” And you WILL. DIE. That question friends, is like gas on a fire. You might as well kick a hornets nest cause they’re coming for you! They can’t resist. The Forum Lurkers… Query Police… The Protocol Nazi’s are going to find you. And. They. Will. Make. You. Pay.
Recently my girl joined a private “women only” sailing forum. These ladies were the epitome of helpful and supportive. They were encouraging and actually answered the questions sans all the male bravado. I would actually ask her to post questions I wanted input on so as not to have to post to the Penis Measuring Forums anymore. Then it happened… She posted a question recently as to the best Electric Razor any ladies on the water might be using. She just wanted to know if anyone could make suggestions as she wants to use less water and what-have-you but still likes soft, silky legs. By the third or fourth post on that question, there were women who were making comments like, “What did we burn our bra’s for in the 60’s?” and “…it’s such shame that young women feel like they have to shave their crotches so that their men can feel like they have pre-pubescent girls!” WHU? Really? If you post something so irresponsible and generalizing like that you should be sent to live among the Mongolian Mountain goats. And… in case you haven’t noticed, Jerry Garcia is now a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor. That’s so radical man. Personally, I like my lady’s silky smooth legs, too. Sue me.
So… Congrats Ladies. You’ve sunk to our level! Finally… Equality. You are becoming as stupid and petty as us men. First, it was Fifty Shades of Grey
Everyone needs to relax. Take a deep breath and live your own life. Don’t judge. Be kind. And it really is ok if you can’t fix the problem. Just don’t add to it.
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[…] If you read all the forums you’ll get tons of yabba-dabba-doos on who’s been there and what they saw or felt and then you’ll get the people who say, “Well I don’t know about the Cape Coral Bridge but we touched going through the bridge in Miami!” WHAT?! We aren’t talking about Miami! Ahhhh… don’t get me started about the forums. […]
I can’t stop chuckling…great post. I hope those curmudgeons, male and female, who lurk in the forums have a chance to read this.
So you KNOW of the forums. haha It’s all in fun but how true it is! :)
Lol. Let ‘er rip! I love a blogger who won’t hold back…love this. And I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist with my snarky inside joke on the thread! We’ve talked about this…the inappropriate forum responses… And I just wanted to make Mel laugh!
Love it!
Xx
Tasha
The joke was hilarious and has given us more than a few laughs this week!
yes Tasha… thanks for the inspiration. This post was a tribute to you dear friend. Humor is key. It’s all in fun but some people do indeed need to take a chill pill. I hope you don’t incur the wrath of the forum for being quoted…
I am requesting you write a book. About what? Anything. I love the way you write, the way your words pull me into your wicked mind, buckle me in and take me for a ride. You transport me from here to there in just moments. Write more my friend, more.
Wow. That is so kind. I love that you read. I love that you enjoy and I really appreciate you taking the time to post. This is a wonderful release for me and we enjoy when those who follow, contribute to the discussion. It makes it fun. We learn from everyone. I will always write from the heart (sometimes Melody wishes I didn’t so much). Sometimes my cynical sense of humor pokes through but ultimately, all of us are in this together. Wether on a boat, not on a boat or planning to someday be on a boat, the goal for me, us… is to help if we can, have fun and grow. Thanks for posting.
Great post. We do sometime ask in fear of others. The helpful stuff is worth it.
Women going bald eagle? That’s our fault? Ha.
Dannie – have you, as a man, not learned by now that everything is your fault? haha
Nice one. Yes, I too saw that thread and it got a little, weird. They should just take a deep breath and go sailing…er…wait a minute!
;)
We definitely have two ladies living on our dock who do not bother with razors — electric or otherwise. Scary stuff when they stop by the pool!
I know who your speeding about.. lol
It was a toss up for me. Either start an adventure in Mongolia with a mountain goat or buy a sailboat and join a forum. I have decided, thanks to your revelation, to opt for the sailboat. I just can’t bear the thought of a journey through the horn of Mongolia with a hairless pubescent goat without hooves.
This comment made me choke on my beer. A hairless pubescent Mongolian goat without hooves would be a travesty. Glad you opted for the sailboat… :)
I think I’m going brazilian as my own revolt against all those hairy armpit, thistle thigh, cactus calf feminists!!! Please Mel, make your next post about which hair dye provides the best coverage when used in salt water. I’m thoroughly enjoying the armchair commentary as I walk into to the spa for my facial. tee hee :-)
Oh Cheryl, don’t entice me! haha I won’t be poking the cage, but it’s funny how opinionated people can get. People are telling me it’s the most entertaining thread they’ve seen on there in awhile!
Hairy legs are all Bush’s fault!
You hit the nail on the head about “the forums”. They have given new meaning to the terms “thread drift” and “hijack”.
I’ll get back to my lurking now…
Caleb~ How are you my friend. Don’t be a stranger and thank you for still following along with our crazy adventure. You run one of the best forums around over there with the Tartan 27 yahoo group. I stop by every once in a while. Miss my old boat.
Chris~ I have been following updates to yours & Melody’s blog via facebook. This was a particularly funny post, I must say.
I do not allow discussions of politics, religion… sexual preference on our Tartan 27 forum which keeps the discussion about the boats; the reason for the group. I suppose this leaves open the possibility of any member being a white supremacist or worse, but if they know something about the boat then I want them in the group.
The more main stream forums really do bring out the kooks sometimes though. I think a new thread on sailnet linking to this blog entry of yours would grow some legs. It would be better if you or Mel posted it though.
How is old “Moose”, eh?
What a surprise! I was just reading along enjoying the ride when POW! Boy, you’ve done it now. If the WWS EVER find this post… you’re in for it!
Mel, it was one very entertaining thread… my husband was peering over my shoulder wondering what all the chuckling was about and I had to read it to him from the beginning… I was afraid to join the fracas by stating that I just buy the cheapest razors I can find and use them until they rust… shave once a week whether I need it or not… Who knows what that would have spawned… Yes, we have our Forum Nazis too. We just need to note their boat names and turn around and run should we ever see them there upon arrival to an anchorage.
The thread was incredibly entertaining and most of the responses were hilarious.
I’m also on Women Who Sail and saw Melody’s electric razor post…and all the crazy responses. She handled it all with class! Melody, I hope you find the razor of your dreams, so you can be as hairless as YOU want to be!
Ha! Thanks, Leigh. It was hilarious and crazy at the same time. I tried to steer it back to the question at hand, but it continued to just go to places I never intended it to go so I just sat back and marveled (and laughed) at the responses! :)
Very good. A perfect synopsis of the forum society…
…spot on about the forums…most are ruled over by a core group of old salts that never seem to leave the dock and drone on endlessly about how difficult sailing is and how you will die out there if your not on an Island Packet. The Sailboat Owners forum might be the exception. A pretty friendly place. Cheers.